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Your mission - to get Kayne muddy!


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Posted by Charlie on July 29, 2021 at 19:41:09

I promised Ry (in a post on the Beach Club) that I would get Kayne really muddy and that I’d get him “spitting mouthfuls of mud” for being rude about ‘Little Sprout’ (a.k.a. Ry) as he is known to his friends on-line.

I wanted to get Kayne wet anyway as revenge for him waking me up this morning by pulling back the sheet and pouring a large jug of cold water all over me from my face to my knees, I woke with a start thinking I’d had a particularly voluminous wet dream (“You wish!” says Kayne) and then saw Kayne’s bulging shorts at the side of the bed as he stood over me with a large plastic measuring jug in his hand – not a pretty sight from that angle.

We joined my mum, Dan and Mary for breakfast and then as we said goodbye to them before they headed off to Edinburgh to organise the packing of stuff from our old home, I tried to push Kayne in the pool, luckily Dan was on hand to give me assistance before they departed. When Kayne surfaced and asked why he had helped, Dan told him.

“I’m sure Charlie had a good reason to want to get you wet rather than just doing it for the sake of it, and knowing you as I do I reckoned you probably deserved it for having got him wet earlier. Call it Karmic intuition, if you like. Have fun guys, see you in a few days – be good, and if you can’t do that, have fun.”

Kayne is not the sort of bloke to bear grudges or get moody, so he stayed in the pool as I sat on the side and we chatted about what we had planned for the day. It was bright and sunny today (Thursday), unlike the dull and showery weather so far this week and we both fancied going out on the obstacle course and getting properly muddy.

“I’ll stay as I am now that I am soaked. Do you want to go and change first?” Kayne asked as he clambered out of the pool.

He looked very fine in his wet clothes as he stood up and the water poured off him. His new-ish dark blue slim-fit jeans gleamed nicely in the sun and left little to the imagination as they clung tightly to his legs and thighs. He was wearing a bright French blue short-sleeved shirt with a large-scale print of orange and yellow big-petalled flowers and tropical birds all over. The fabric was thin and floaty when dry but stuck firmly to his chest and back when wet. He had on blue canvas shoes, but no socks. He’s also in need of a haircut, so his wet hair was plastered across his forehead and over his eyes and sides of his face.

“I guess I deserved that after my actions this morning – it did wake you up quickly though!” he laughed.

“I’m happy to stay as I am thanks.” I said “Shall we go?”

We did a couple of the obstacles and got thoroughly soaked and very muddy as we crawled along the muddy ditch and then fell off the monkey bars into the muddy water below before wading along the water-filled trench ducking under and clambering over the logs laid across it. The worst bit was slipping on the logs on the next obstacle as I walked along them and landing astride the log – that was excruciating and left me wondering if I’ll ever be a dad in future; it’s the sort of pain you don’t think can exist …... until it actually does. We took a breather after that as I recovered my composure and massaged myself. I shall be avoiding that obstacle in future for sure.

We then went on to the mud pit and both jumped straight in. I kept my promise to Ry by pushing Kayne under repeatedly until on the fifth ducking he surfaced spitting out mud and gagging as he gasped for air. I didn’t want to have to go back to the house and tell everyone that I had drowned him at the request of an on-line friend, so I left it at that and just told him who had put me up to it. I can’t repeat what he said about you, Ry, even I was shocked, but you better hope and pray, Ry, that you never actually get to meet Kayne! Ha Ha.

We are sitting around the pool at the moment as I write this, listening to the wind howling outside as the forecast storm approaches. Kayne has just got our clothes out of the dryer after we put them through the wash on our return from the mud pit, and everything looks to have survived perfectly. Kayne’s blue jeans look a bit faded and the floral shirt looks just like new. My tan jeans are as before and my grey and yellow striped shirt looks like new. Mum phoned to say they had arrived safely at the house in Edinburgh after the 377 mile journey took 7 hours and 22 minutes, excluding a 40 minute stop for lunch and a re-fuel, so that was pretty good going.




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