Growing up, coming out, getting wet
Posted by Patrick on December 27, 2022 at 03:48:36
I'm going to share about my first real love interest, and why I think he might have been a wetfan himself. Willy, if you're out there reading this, I miss you. This will be a long story so I'll probably post it in two parts. I think everything here is allowed based on the forum rules (there's no sex) but if I went too far, I apologize and I understand if the mods need to remove this.
This happened when I was in high school and working the summer at a Boy Scout summer camp. At the time I was shy, struggling with anxiety and low self esteem, and working out whether I was gay (it would eventually turn out that, yes, I was gay.) My parents were loving but also kind of helicopter parents, and I was enjoying the relative freedom of being away from home for the whole summer. Boy Scouts was generally a good thing for me at the time - I know there's a lot of negatives about the organization, and some horrible things have come to light recently, but I individually had a positive experience. Plus, there was a lot of water involved - a few times I had to jump in a pool fully clothed for "survival training". Then there were canoeing and kayaking trips where we'd often end up in the water, hikes in the rain, bicycle trips in the rain, and plus my troop ran a dunk tank each year at one of the town carnivals. That was always good for some laughs and memories. As far as camp went, though, I was working in what we called "Scoutcraft" - so I taught things like knots, lashings, cooking, map and compass, stuff like that. I also helped out in our "COPE course" - which was like a big obstacle course with climbing trees, zip lines, stuff like that. I was learning a lot, growing a lot, and making some good friends, so overall I was happy. But I was also confused about my sexual preferences. Another guy who worked at camp was on an exchange from Germany. His name was Wilhelm, and he went by Willy. He had a bit of an accent but spoke excellent English. And was absolutely gorgeous, with blonde hair, blue eyes, not too tall, some faint freckles on his face, and the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen. We had a few girls on our staff who all seemed desperate to marry that handsome German prince. In terms of personality, Willy was soft-spoken, seemed like he had a sense of humor but was never looking to be the center of attention, and just seemed *nice*, usually smiling, usually saying something kind or encouraging. The thing was, our camp was huge, it was almost like a small city. It was divided up into multiple sub-camps and, Willy worked in a completely different area, so I hardly ever saw him outside of all-staff meetings. He worked teaching archery at a sub-camp on practically the other side of the huge camp, so we didn't work together or really have much chance to even be in the same room together.
So I'm not quite sure how this happened, I can only guess he saw me (a shy, awkward kid) staring at him, and he took a guess at what I might have been thinking. But one night I'm in the staff dining hall. It was late, probably about 11pm, and someone had a put a movie on our TV. I was sitting by myself in the back on a bench near the wall, kind of in a little "nook". I was feeling particularly burnt out that day, and was tired and just wanted to be left alone. It was getting late so I was thinking about going to shower and head back to my tent to go to bed. Then, Willy comes in, and sits down on the bench next to me. The dining hall was pretty empty, with just a few of us watching the movie, and no one seemed to be paying any attention to me in my little corner. Willy quietly slid over closer to me. Then a little closer, so our arms were touching. I was resting my arms at my sides, my hands resting on the bench I was sitting on, and Willy placed his hand over mine. Then he gently grasped my hand. I was still facing straight ahead, frozen solid. My heart was racing so fast I thought I would have a heart attack, and I was sure that when I turned to look at him, I'd see his face smirking, like he was pulling a prank. This was a common way boys would tease each other - pretending to be gay, pretending to hit on each other. I braced myself for mockery, and turned to look at him. But his beautiful face had a kind, soft smile. He didn't say anything, then a few seconds later he gave my hand a gentle squeeze, released it, and scooted over a respectable distance down the bench from me. As the movie finished, the few people in the dining hall filed out, and we grunted "good night" to each other. Willy followed me outside, and pulled me off to the side, out of ear shot of anyone else, and asked me what I was up to that night. "Uh, probably just going to bed," I said. It was late, and it had been a long day, and I was tired. Willy said, "I was going to take a shower. The C-Camp Shower House, probably in an hour or so? Maybe I'll see you there?" I was floored. "Um..." I thought about it. I was terrified and anxious, and worried that someone would catch me. I knew that if that happened, the best case scenario was one of the adult staff would just fire us.The worst case scenario was one of the teenage staff seeing and gossiping about it. But, it was real late, the place should be deserted, and I was so incredibly turned on. "Yeah, ok, I'll be there." I stammered. Willy gave my hand another gentle squeeze, smiled, and headed off. I lived and worked in A-Camp, while C-Camp was on the other side of the property, so I actually had a pretty long walk back to my tent to get my shower stuff, then all the way over to the C-Camp showers. I was tempted to sprint, but paced myself so I'd arrive in about an hour. I still ended up being a little early, but Willy was waiting along the road to the shower. His face lit up when he saw me - obviously it feels good to see someone's face light up when they see you - and I bet he wouldn't have been surprised if I'd chickened out and didn't show. But we joined hands and walked the rest of the way towards the showers. "So, how are you doing?" Willy asked me, and I nervously stammered out some nonsense about my day teaching knots and lashings, and how they ran out of chocolate cake at dinner before I could get any, and whatever other gibberish popped into my head. I realized I was talking too loud, and tried to make sure I kept my voice low. I hadn't seen anyone else around - but our camp was big enough that it basically operated 24 hours a day. Different staff had different jobs, most of us worked during the day and slept at night, but some people worked late into the night, or overnight, and it wouldn't have been out of the question to run into someone else at the showers this time of night. But, thus far, it was empty when we reached the shower house.
The shower building was simple, it was a row of 4 shower rooms on each side of the building. There was a concrete sidewalk around the building. Each shower room was small - just the shower, a shower curtain, and a tiny shelf and coat hook to store your clothes and towel. They were real small, so it required some practice to align the shower, curtain and your dry clothes and towel such that you didn't get them soaked by accident. What we usually did was take off our shoes outside, and left whatever else we had with us other than our towel and dry clothes outside, since there was so little room in the shower room. So I was trying to pretend like I'd done this before, and kicked off my shoes and socks while trying to make casual conversation with Willy, while he did the same thing. I realized that I had no idea what Willy wanted to do with me, whether I'd even know how to do whatever I was supposed to do on my end, how far he'd want to go, how far I wanted or was willing to go... I was panicking again. Willy opened one of the shower doors, and without saying anything, stood there, gave me a kind look, and cocked his head, signalling me to follow him inside. I swallowed, and followed him, and he shut and locked the door behind us.
Willy turned on the shower, and stepped under the warm water fully clothed. That surprised me, I figured we'd end up naked. He was wearing just a blue camp t-shirt and cargo shorts. I was wearing a blue camp polo, a white undershirt, and jeans. We'd both left our shoes and socks outside. We were also both wearing boxers. Willy was soaked within a few seconds, and I was transfixed staring at him. He turned to face me, and smiled. "Come on," he said quietly. I took a couple steps forward and joined him under the shower, and we embraced. We worked our hands across each other's chests and backs, under and over our soaked shirts, and then hugged tightly for a long moment, standing under the shower. I had no idea what to say to him, so I just smiled, and he smiled back, his fingers playing with my hair. "Do you want to go swimming?" he asked, his German accent showing through a bit - he pronounced "swimming" like "schvimming". The lake was just down the hill from the shower house. I hesitated - there were two big rules we had to follow as camp staff - we weren't allowed to swim without permission, and we weren't allowed to access the guns at the gun range without permission. The camp director made it clear that most sins at camp could be forgiven, but these two rules were set in stone. And the lake was highly visible to several different camp sites and buildings, there was a good chance that someone out late might spot us. But I decided to trust Willy, and said sure, let's go. Willy turned off the shower, and I went to open the door. As I did, I saw a kid named Jared standing right outside the door. I gasped, and kicked my leg back to push Willy back behind the shower curtain, hoping that Jared wouldn't see. Jared wasn't exactly my favorite person at camp - he talked too much, thought he was funny and really wasn't, and was just generally annoying. He didn't mean any harm though, he just was a little bit "much." "Oh hey Patrick!" Jared said brightly. "How come you wore all your clothes in the shower." "Oh, um," I stammered, "I was washing them." It was actually a viable excuse - we'd been complaining that there were too few washing machines in camp, so a few people suggested (quite seriously) that you just wear your clothes into the shower to wash them. Jared seemed to buy my excuse, then pointed to Willy's shoes and asked me "those your shoes?" "No, those are," I said, pointing to my shoes.
"Then who's are those?"
"No idea, someone elses."
"But no one else is here, I checked all the other showers, you're the only person here."
"Oh, well, maybe someone forgot them"
"Forgot their shoes? You think they just walked home from the showers in bare feet?"
"Should make em easy to spot then, keep your eyes peeled," I said, impatiently.
While this conversation was happening, I had comedicly frozen standing on one foot, with my other leg bent behind me to push Willy back behind the shower curtain. Willy apparently wasn't too concerned by Jared's presence, and ran his finger along the sole of my foot. I was equal parts amused, turned on and nervous, and regained my balance with both feet on the ground. Then, another kid, Christian, walked by. He ignored Jared, but gave me a look that started as "what the..." Then, I think he might have seen Willy, or at least maybe saw a hand or a foot peeking from behind the shower curtain, and gave me a smile and a wink. My heart was beating even faster now, but Jared (who was still talking non-stop) had finally gotten his own shoes off and ended up "Anyway, good night Patrick!" and walked into the net shower room.
I closed the door and locked it again. When I turned around, Willy was smiling at me. "You..." I laughed, quietly admonishing him, "you almost got us caught!" "No one pay any attention to Jared," Willy shrugged, "but I guess no swimming tonight." I nodded. Willy shrugged and turned the shower back on, and we resumed our shower, this time gradually taking our clothes off. We stripped down to our boxers, and I was again not sure how far we'd go. Willy tentatively slipped just the tips of his fingers through the elastic waistband of my boxers, and looked at me silently. I must have looked scared or nervous, because Willy smoothly directed his hands back to my chest, and we ended with another long, quiet embrace under the flowing water, before turning it off. We stripped out of our soaked boxers and changed into our dry clothes, then exited the shower, put our shoes back on, and started walking back holding hands. When we got to the fork in the road, where I'd have to turn off to return to my camp site, Willy held on to my hand, and gave me a gentle tug towards his camp site, and quietly suggested, "Come on." I followed his lead, and we arrived back at his tent. He gave me the same look he gave me getting into the shower - silently meaning "you can come if you want, or not." I, again, took a leap of faith and entered his tent, and he followed me. Since we were living there all summer, we all had large tents with plastic totes to store our clothes and belongings. Willy had a large air mattress on the ground, with a couple pillows and a sheet stretched over it. It was a warm night, not too hot. Willy followed me into the tent, and pointed at the air mattress, whispering that I could pick which side I wanted. He zipped up the pieces of tarp over the tent windows, so no one would see us. After the experience in the shower, I was pretty sure that Willy wasn't going to push me to do anything past where I was comfortable, so I was pretty cool and calm by now. Plus, I was tired, and that air mattress looked awfully inviting. We pulled off our clothes, again keeping our boxers on, and laid down next to each other on the air mattress. Our shoulders were touching, and Willy seemed to like having his foot touching mine. I fretted over what I should do with my hands, and I settled on resting my hand on Willy's belly. He placed his own hand on my chest, and we laid silently next to each other. I didn't want to talk, since I was worried that someone might hear us through the thin walls of the tent. After a few moments, I whispered, "Willy...." I wanted to say something to him, but nothing sounded right. What was I supposed to say? "Thank you? I love you? I like you? Nice willy (no pun intended)?" Willy turned his head to face me, smiled, and as usual, his smile was enough to silence me. After a moment he said quietly in German, "Gute Nacht, Patrick." "Good night," I answered, and drifted off to sleep.
We awoke the next morning, our arms and legs tangled up. I felt incredible - surprised at how well-rested I felt, as if I'd had the best sleep of my life, and excited and even proud that, for the first time in my life, I'd woken up in bed next to someone. Willy and I had one last, quiet, embrace, then got dressed. Suddenly, I was again terrified - I could hear voices outside the tent, the rest of the staff in that camp getting up for the morning and getting ready for the day. Willy unzipped a small slit in one of the window flaps. "Scheisse!" he swore quietly in German. I looked at him wide-eyed, wondering how I was going to escape. "OK," he whispered at me, "I'll get rid of everybody. You stay here. When you hear me say 'Oh man, the weather is beautiful today,' that's your signal that the coast is clear. When you hear me say that, get out, quickly, use the back path to go back to A-Camp." I nodded, and Willy got out of his tent, and I could hear him and a few other guys chit chatting. Finally, I heard him loudly say, "Oh man! Zee veh-tur, it shure ist BOOTIFUL today!" He turned up the German accent, I guess so I'd be certain it was him talking. I quickly opened the tent flap, peered around to confirm the coast was clear, and darted out to the rarely-used "secret" path back to my campsite. As I was scurrying along, after a few moments, I heard, "Patrick, wait!" I turned and Willy was chasing after me. "Are we going to do this again?" he asked me. I had no idea what to say, so I just nodded vigorously, my head bobbing up and down hard enough to give me a headache. Willy grabbed both of my hands, then kissed my cheek, then we hugged again, and parted ways for the day.
- Re: Growing up, coming out, getting wet Ry 09:12:25 12/28/2022
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- Re: Growing up, coming out, getting wet wetshirt 01:02:37 12/28/2022
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- Re: Growing up, coming out, getting wet Pete 21:59:11 12/27/2022
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- Re: Growing up, coming out, getting wet wetjumper 19:23:57 12/27/2022
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