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Re: Billy Has Two Moms


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Posted by Pete on September 28, 2021 at 01:22:16

In Reply to: Billy Has Two Moms posted by Love2GetUWet on September 25, 2021 at 23:25:41:

This is by far the most thought provoking discussion I've ever read on this forum. And each reply - generally all very respectful even though offering very different opinions - only makes me think harder.

L2GUW, I sure as h-ll don't have any of the answers.

On a very practical note - your grandson is going to encounter this and ask questions, one way or another. Whether its "why does Billy have two moms and no dad?" versus, "why won't you let me play with Billy?" Kids talk to each other. I hate to sound like a cheesy PSA, but: talk to your kid before someone else does! I understand that it would be better if your grandson could learn about this when he's a bit older... but that might not be an option. And I have to believe he'd benefit from a loving, honest and direct talk with you - whatever way you decide to approach it - than have his first understanding of the issue shaped by rumors and gossip.

You've mentioned that you love your grandson so much to raise him in the midst of challenges that many kids, and many families, don't have. Has your grandson ever had to deal with a situation where someone didn't want to be friends with him, on account of him being a little different from them? Or a child's family being uncertain of your family situation, and not wanting their child to associate with you and your grandson. I'd have to imagine that would be a painful thing for your grandson to experience... Would it be fair of you to cause that same kind of pain to Billy and his family?

Your post has stuck with me the past couple of days, because it brings me back to the time when I was growing up. As you may know, I grew up in a very small, very poor, very devout rural town. Domestic violence was the norm, every family had at least one close relative who was addicted to something, or in jail, or dead from drugs or violence. It was remarkable... despite all that, people individually would show the unyielding love that you show your grandson. These folks would give the shirt off their back, the last bite of food from their kitchens, the last pennies of their welfare checks if you were in need or something. UNLESS your skin was the wrong color, you prayed to the wrong god, or (and maybe worst of all) you slept with someone of the wrong gender. The more distance I put between myself and that time and place, the less I understand it. Like, what's the thing that's so important that would make someone go from limitless caring to... not even allowing your children to play together. I don't understand. And today, on the occasions when I drive through the post-apocalyptic wasteland that is my hometown, I can't really argue that that way of thinking has preserved any kind of society that I (or anyone else, apparently) cares to live in.

I'm not religious, and even when I was young and going to church regularly, I never understood much more than the 10 commandments and the golden rule. I do remember one sermon that stuck with me. To paraphrase: We often ask ourselves, 'what would Jesus do?' When we ask ourselves this, we usually want assurance that Jesus agrees with us, and confirms our decision to do what we thought was right all along. But if we read the Bible, we find that Jesus spent an awful lot of time making people feel uncomfortable. Even good people, devoted, honest, kind and caring people - Jesus would push them a bit out of their comfort zone and make them question what they held to be right and wrong. So sometimes if we're feeling uncomfortable when we're trying to figure out what's right and what's wrong, maybe that feeling of discomfort is Jesus's way of pushing us in the right direction.


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